Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
