Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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