Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
