it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Say something about gay babies.
Just cropdusted the office
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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