you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize