you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Even my vagina gasped.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
