Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
