then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
