he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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