And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
