For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
