covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
These tits shall not be calmed
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
