I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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