is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
