She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
