thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
