Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
