just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
