Its about making memories worth repressing
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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