your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
