i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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