He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
