The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
