But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
