Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
you had me at cake vodka
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
