We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
So much Jack, so little girl.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize