Only a mothe r could love this liver
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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