Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I will pee on everything he values.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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