if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
