So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
