And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
