Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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