I love black thongs
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
is that a dick in a sweater?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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