The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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