i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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