We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
