Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
