As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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