Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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