His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize