I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
