Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We are two peas in an std pod
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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