But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize