You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
