Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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