She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
