It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
