She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
