I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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