I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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