Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize