Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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