Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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