I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
