You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
