Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize