i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
