that's an acceptable place to lick
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
