Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
