dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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