So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
