Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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